Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
