i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
