since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She's better-looking with the mask on.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize