it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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