How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
