I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
