Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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