There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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