Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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