Can i not drive my cunt home
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i dont even know how to be here
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize