the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize