I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
