The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You smell like stripper and shame
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
