so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
