last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
