PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
