quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
