I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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