watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
