So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
