remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
