Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
