Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
