please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
