home. puking in laundry basket.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
