apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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