Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
