i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
