If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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