butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
