"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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