Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
