The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
