I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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