let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i drank out of a bidet.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
