Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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