god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
