I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
