I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
