420 ftw
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I didn't notice because vodka
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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