so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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