someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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