I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
