he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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