Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I cannot find my penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
