I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need a beard to bite.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
