if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
