how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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