She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
