I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
