just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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