dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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