M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
