We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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