Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We are two peas in an std pod
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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