i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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