hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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