saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
