Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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