ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize