remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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