hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
